I have a problem.
It seems I have given people a reason to believe that I am...I am...ugh, that--well--I'm a metrosexual. Ahem. A metrosexual.
Now before I go attesting why I feel this statement is devoid of any truth, let me share with you a few responses I collected on Facebook throughout the day yesterday regarding what people feel the definition of "metrosexual" actually is.
With an overwhelming response, I picked the best of the best to share:
Let me start by saying that, if I had to be honest, I didn't appreciate the 'Like' on that last comment. Now surely there's nothing wrong with being a metrosexual, but by the definitions of my peers, it just isn't me (at least I don't think it is).
For instance, I could have sworn teal and aqua were synonymous, but I was of course proven otherwise. You learn something new everyday -- or is that not what the kids say?
I'd also like to note that I absolutely freaking HATE going to the mall, for so many reasons.
- I hate teenagers
- I wouldn't be caught dead wearing the garbage (yes garbage) stores like Hollister, American Eagle or J.Crew sell
- Why would I spend $80 on a pair of jeans when I can get a pair for $20 at Kohls?
- Malls have a tendency to reek of pretentiousness in that their patrons have an overwhelming and unjustified sense of fashion and trend
When asked by friends what my definition of a metrosexual is, I found "iced tips" to be the first phrase out of my mouth, to which they responded, "Just because you know what iced tips are Trey, that makes you a metro."
Now, perhaps it's true that I like to look nice when I go out. It may also be true that more often than not you'll see me sporting a blazer in homage to the great Hank Moody, but that doesn't mean that I'm a metrosexual, does it? I don't read New York Magazine, I've never gotten a manicure or pedicure (nor will I ever), and I have no aspirations of being gay. I won't compare myself to other men in their 'women getting,' but I can say that I do well enough for myself.
As mush as I hate to admit it, this all seems rather inconclusive. Of course I take pride in how I look, but give me a break, my aspirations lay in acting. Acting in films. That are seen. By people. I want to look good! It's a self esteem thing.
So, against my better judgment, I'll once again leave the decision making in the hands of you. Take a second, scroll down and click in a vote. Don't be too cruel.
Do you know anyone else who puts themselves out there like this? Tell me in the comment thing below.
Some Shameless Promotion
Dear Lucy is new!
The only thing I know for certain is that until tonight, until I read your previous letter for the second, third and fourth times, I never realized how alike we truly are. You and I have both certainly romanticized our overseas relationship for going on the better part of 2010, but that was [to me] due in part to our vivid imaginations and lack of acceptance of the state of the world that we live in.
Click this stupidly large button:
I have been given orders by the International Coalition of End-of-the-World Affairs to plan the biggest party this planet has ever seen. Official details can be found here.
Be sure to RSVP and invite your friends to a truly apocalyptic party!
I am abhorred with myself for the lack of postings as of late. Due to my being deathly sick [hyperbole], I haven't found much motivation to do anything other than sleep and eat when my body informs me that I must. For this, I apologize.
While my postings may have retarded a bit, my life experiences certainly have not, and thus I bring you today's posting in 2 parts.
Part 1. As [hopefully] many of you are aware, along with my inglorious rantings on TreyKauffman.com, a great friend of mine (who is currently hailing from the ever-so-dreary London in the UK) and I have started a project in which we share on a pseudo weekly basis the musings of two 20 somethings exploring the intrigues and pitfalls of life. Call us, if you will, pen pals of the 21st century.
Here's a sampling of Lucy's first posting:
But whatever you or anybody else might say, I need to believe that I'm right on this one. I need to believe because for the last couple of years I fear there is nothing left where my heart used to be. Then I start to think about if I should go and ask The Wizard of Oz if he can spot me a new ticker, right before I remember the Wizard is just the man behind the curtain, and if I can't find my heart on my own, nobody can do it for me. Not even a wizard.
You can view her full posting on Dear Trey.
A free spirit whose strength and motivation in life rivals my own. One day I will embrace the heart of another, as will my dear friend Lucy; but until that day arrives, the two of us will continue to walk about this broken world with a hope and a dream. This is our faith. This is our driving spirit. Divided by a world of land and sea, nothing can drive us apart.
If you'd like to contact Lucy, you can e-mail her at Lucy@Slantics.com.
Part 2. My Twitter background sucks.
I beg you to help me remedy this. I know there are a lot of you artistic types of folk out there who love doing things like this. You see, this is as artistically inclined as I get when it comes to images and graphics. Writing is more my flavor, with a dash of acting here and there.
And so I ask you, beg you, should you find it in your heart to devote an hour of your time to an updated and cleaner presence for my Twitter home, I will repay you in whatever way you so should choose barring that it doesn't cost me a great deal of money. Get creative! In both the design of the background and my repayment to you.
If you are interested in helping out, please let me know by contacting me via any of the links to the right. Or you can just e-mail me here: Trey@Slantics.com.
If I don't hear from any of you --
Best wishes my friends.
My people. Lo and behold the time has come for me to finally have a web presence that I can truly get behind and not be ashamed at the narcissistic voyeur of my own ugly mug looking down upon me.
I welcome you to Trey.Kauffman 2.0!
Please bear witness to the truly dynamic beauty of WordPress and Web 2.0. As opposed to limiting myself to a niche category of blogging topics, I will be using this post as a vent for all of the madness that goes on within my head. From film, to life, to creative expressionism and bashing each and every idiot on The Jersey Shore, I will update you with tales of mystique and vicarious pleasures.
Please allow me to give you a brief tour of what this realm has to offer. You can see from the links above that you, the viewer, have several options in which to get to know me better. You may view my ever-changing collection of professional headshots as well as my quickly growing library of past films. My resume is also at your disposal should you wish to hire me for any purpose that you would like.
Seriously, hire me.
Now I'd like to direct your attention to the sidebar on the right hand side of your screen. Along with the recreation of TreyKauffman.com, I am taking on a very special project with a very special friend of mine. My very special friend is named Lucy, and I introduce to you our very special project: Dear Lucy.
I sit here today looking at those whose youth has long been expired. All but a glimmer of their past and a finite future remain.
I sit here today wondering if I too will sit in this very same Wendy’s, 50 years from now asking myself, “Where did my life go?”
Will I share the same penchant for orange track suits and Velcro shoes? Will I too sit alone, eating my lunch in solitude, not be it by choice but out of necessity as those of whom I once loved have long since perished...
So you should probably check that out. In case you missed it the first time, you can CLICK HERE! But what interest would you hold in a one-sided blog written to a girl living in London that none of you [presumably] know? Good question. I would now ask you to turn your attention to Dear Trey.
The intelligent among you I'm sure have figured out by now that Lucy and I wish to share with you the adventures of two young and culturally diverse individuals. Through musings between her and I we hope to open the eyes of those around us and create not only a sense of curiosity about the world opposite us, but also a story that is never-ending; one that writes itself as we go about our everyday lives.
Before I leave you with the all of the above to ponder, I would like to direct your attention one more time away from this text to the bottom of this post. You will see a little button that looks something like this: .
Yeah, go ahead and click on that anytime you enjoy what you've read; or even if you don't like it, I doubt it will bother me much if you lie.
You may of course also leave a comment in the comment section below and subscribe to my RSS feed here: http://slantics.com/treykauffman/?feed=rss2.
Until next time, thanks y'all!